Just Keep Swimming

New week. I'm now on to week two. Things are a little tougher and my mind is already trying to play the "failure" game with me...but I won't give up!

Today's Workout: C25K week 2: 5 minute warm up, 90 seconds running, 90 seconds walking, 90 seconds running, 2 minutes running (for 20 minutes) 5 minute cool down
How I Felt During: Sick. Regretting I didn't go earlier in the day!
Music: "Who's That Chick" by David Guetta feat Rhianna (love it!), "Sweet Lorraine" by Andy Davis, "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson
How I Felt After: Glad it was over!

So my day today has been really busy. Last week, my schedule was wide open, so it was pretty easy to work my workouts & running into the day, but tonight I had a special date with one of my Young Life girls before Campaigners. What that meant was that my run had to wait until after Young Life. Unfortunately, the lovely dinner of Jason's Deli salad, soup, and (obviously) ice cream had settled on me before I started a little bit more intense running pattern today. And I was a little tired too.

Flashback: let's go back to August of 2004. Senior year. I was ready to start running. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, I threw on my gym clothes and skedaddled my way to the Baylor University rec center. I had all the right accessories: cute shorts, running shoes, and my Discman (yep, this was before I had an iPod).

Baylor's gym was situated in such a way that the cardio machines were on the bottom of a leveled facility. Think of it as being on the bottom stair. There were tv's in the front, then bikes, then treadmills, then elliptical machines and stair masters all on level one. Step up to the middle level and you have all the weight machines. The top step had all the (Pikes?) free weights.

As I walked into the gym that day, I was confident...courageous even. I waited for my treadmill and when one finally opened, I hopped on and began my warm up. Finally, I was ready to run. I pumped up the speed to 6.0 and went for it.

All of a sudden, something happened...a small trip. As I thought to myself "that was close" I suddenly tripped again and BAM! I was going to fall. Terrified, I reacted with an almost cat-like reflex! I grabbed the side of the treadmill and started running my feet as fast as I could underneath me (this treadmill was from the ice ages and did not have side runners to step onto). I tried to gain balance and get up like nothing happened, but there was no recovering from a "Trauma-Rama" moment like this. I had to admit defeat. I pushed stop, and let the treadmill take me to the ground...my Ashlee Simpson CD rolling out for the world to see.

As I sat there, a girl walked up to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She politely asked.

"Yeah" I replied, though my face was so red I'm sure she thought I was dying.

Then she replied with the worst. response. ever. : "Maybe you should slow down"

Yep. Horrible, right? It was the most defeating moment in my entire life...so much so, that I not only gave up treadmills for almost 2 years, I gave up going to the gym for my entire senior year. My bruises being constant reminders that working out doesn't pay.

Why do I tell this story? Despite the fact that this story is absolutely something that should be recorded for everyone on the internet to see, it also is a common theme in my life. I feel like I face many roadblocks that make me just want to "slow down". This weekend, it was the scale.

When I started brainstorming this plan of mine, I decided that weight loss was not going to be the focus of this, but just having fun. My "all or nothing" personality wants to see instant results and they just aren't rational. So this weekend, I saw my scale in my bathroom and felt the need to see if I had lost any weight. I had gained a pound. I felt like I was back on the floor exposed to everyone. But, then I remembered that I am to focus on something different. No one is looking at me and laughing right now. I am enjoying the journey, and that is what is ultimately the most important thing.

So, today's run wasn't my best. I did it. I finished. And eventually, I will finish and I won't hate it. So for now, I'll "just keep swimming" (thanks "Finding Nemo"!)